Julie in a Tree - Santa Maria, CA

Julie in a Tree – Santa Maria, CA

Testing Seesmic. Getting food at Sally Loos. http://bit.ly/xcJYv0

Heather to the Peak - Gaviota, CA

Heather to the Peak – Gaviota, CA

Lessons From Losing

These are some lessons I learned from my failed marathon on January 7th.  Of course, all of this is after some retrospective reflection and a bit of self-inflicted mental torment.  Maybe somebody else can avoid the traps I fell into if they read this.  Hopefully.

  1. A marathon or ultramarathon is nothing more than a running event.  Nobody is going to die if you don’t finish, and you won’t slip into a life of booze, unemployment, and suicidal thoughts.  Nor will you become gain enlightenment, overcome all of your life problems, or become the person you always wanted to be if you finish.  It’s simply not the beginning or end of the world.  It’s a long run.  That’s it.  Enjoy it for what it is.
  2. You care more than anybody else about the outcome of an endurance event.  Sure, people will be interested and even support you through the run.  But nobody will remember your finishing time one week after the event.  Unless they are endurance athletes themselves, they won’t know or understand the time invested or the experiences you acquired while running training for the event.  Don’t even try.  It’s not that they don’t care.  It’s just that the entire experience is very personal and deeper than surface level.  So, forget about time goals and paces.  Immerse yourself in the race you’ve trained for.  Don’t throw it away on obsessing over details in order to “succeed”.  Do what you already know how to do.
  3. Some endurance events might take years to train for.  Throughout my life, I’ve undertrained for a goal or overtrained for a goal.  I have done very little to train for a major 8 hour long peak climb in the Sierras, and I succeeded and suffered.  And on the other hand (and in this particular case) I have trained too hard.  Even though you follow the rules, the goal might be tougher, and you probably need more time to strengthen properly.  Don’t rush it.  Set goals realistically and conservatively, and you’ll probably succeed more often.
  4. Know when to quit.  With everything said above, don’t quit without having a very good reason.  Otherwise, you will regret it.  It might get very difficult, and you might hurt very much.  But are you permanently damaging yourself?  Are you sure?  If not, keep running.  You’ll know when it’s time, but don’t take that decision lightly.  Even though it seems to be the clear decision at mile 19 when your knee is killing you, it won’t be so clear in two or three days.  In retrospect, you will question yourself, and it you can’t escape it if you know you were not honest with yourself (then see #1).  Don’t be stupid either, because there’s no integrity in finishing if you pay for it for one year to life.  
  5. Horseflies can bite.  Apparently, I was bit by a large horsefly at mile 9.  I have never been bit by a horsefly.  In fact, I have never even seen a horsefly in a redwood forest.  It seems so random.  Yet, it made the back side of my head feel like it was Rodney King.  No, there’s probably no practical lesson here.  But it feels good to get it off my chest.

Crossing the Finish Line – Napa, CA  March 6, 2011

This is my second marathon finish.  I thought I was smiling when I finished, but apparently the pain turned it into a grimace.  But was it worth it?  Absolutely.

Sunrise Clouds - Mammoth Mountain, CA

Sunrise Clouds – Mammoth Mountain, CA

This song is about those moments in life where clarity suddenly exists. All of the day-to-day, insignificant stuff fades into the background, and you are face to face with pure existence.  I lost the recorded files before I completed it, but it’s still a fun listen.  Check it out.

Sunset Birds in the Yaquina Bay - Newport, OR

Sunset Birds in the Yaquina Bay – Newport, OR

Sunrise on Carmelite Monastery - Carmel, CA

Sunrise on Carmelite Monastery – Carmel, CA


Yesterday’s run went fairly well for the first 4 miles. But as I turned a corner, I noticed a guy and his two German Shepherds tossing a ball in a grass area under some eucalyptus trees. I immediately stopped, put the leash on Heather, and crossed the street before making the turn toward him. I could see that the guy saw us coming and I heard him call his dogs. But that did no good at all. As I came a little closer, the two dogs saw Heather and bolted across the street. I yelled to the guy, “Hey! Get your dogs!” But he had no control over them at all. One of the two dogs, practically jump attacked Heather – completely unprovoked – and a fight broke out.

Heather is not a fearful dog, and she’ll stand her ground. As her owner, I have no way to stop the fight, and it was not looking like it is going to stop anytime soon. The owner was taking his time getting across the street, so I did exactly what you are not supposed to do. I jumped into the fight with Heather. For all I knew, I might be fighting for her life. I don’t care what the rules are. I’m taking that German Shepard down before she takes Heather down. So I started kicking the dog, and going ballistic on her. I am still an animal lover, even if the dog is attacking, so I felt bad doing it. But it needed to be done. 

Finally the guy comes over and grabs his dog. I was really angry. The primary responsibility for any dog owner is to always have control of your animal. He clearly didn’t. I yelled at him, “What the f*** is your problem? You saw me coming, and you didn’t do anything to get control of your dogs!” The guy says, “Sorry, she sometimes does that.” I exploded, “You knew she does this and you still take her into public areas? What is wrong with you?!?” I looked at Heather to make sure I she was ok, and I immediately saw blood on my hand. I looked up to see the guy walking away, and I yelled again, “Hey, I need your information in case my dog is hurt. She’s bleeding.” He said something, but I couldn’t hear him as I continued to look for the wound on Heather. I couldn’t find anything wrong with her, and then I realized that the blood on my hand was because I was bit. It was my blood, not Heather’s. 

To kick off this blog, I thought I would start with this photo of my wife, Jill, and I on the summit of Lembert Dome.  Yosemite is one of my favorite place in the world, and in this shot, I’m spending my time there with my favorite person in the world.  What a better way to start.  

To kick off this blog, I thought I would start with this photo of my wife, Jill, and I on the summit of Lembert Dome.  Yosemite is one of my favorite place in the world, and in this shot, I’m spending my time there with my favorite person in the world.  What a better way to start.